As a newer Dom, you might not be sure when it’s appropriate to punish your submissive. We’ve been trained to see punishments as a consequence for doing something way out of line, but what does that mean for someone who is meant to completely serve you? Is out of line ironing the clothes wrong, or leaving the house when they’re not supposed to? The answer is that it’s really up to you. The best way to tell when a sub is being bad is to set up a list of rules. If they break these rules, they need to be punished. It’s as simple as that. So how do you carry out the punishment? Reviews on fetish dating sites have plenty of personal advice for punishment to give you some ideas of your own. Or you can try some classics.
When Dealing with a Run-of-the-mill SubA run-of-the-mill sub is a person who has no history of abuse or pain fetishes. For them, spanking, flogging, whipping, or paddling will give them a measurable pain to gauge their punishment from. A standard number of hits would be around 20 for starters. Use one of these forms of hitting as a first part of their chastisement. As with the justice system, you’ve got to make the punishment fit the crime. Don’t make him or her scrub the floor with a toothbrush if they didn’t do the dishes like you told them to. The message will be more confusing and less effective.
When Dealing with a Pain SlutA pain slut is a sub that loves to be physically hurt. The idea of being spanked or whipped as punishment actually turns them on, so they might go about trying to purposely undermine their masters in order to get punished. The ideal way to deal with a pain slut is to absolutely withhold any physical pain for a fixed period of time. You have to stick to this, or they will realize that you aren’t going to hold your end of the deal and undermine you again. Instead of hurting them, you can add more household chores or make them sit on the floor, but really the withholding of their precious pain ought to be enough.
When Dealing with Subs from Abusive Relationships
While the beginner Dom might think that a person who came from a broken relationship might respond very well to spankings and whips since they fear them so much, they’d be completely wrong. It’s just cruel to terrorize your pet, and if you’re going to legitimately scare them they’re going to withdraw from you. A Dom is nothing without his or her submissive to care for and punish. The punishment you will dole out is to guide your bottom back onto the right path that you have chosen for them, not to make them fear you. You may not know it, but subs actually revere their masters and look to them as a role model. Master doesn’t mean the old-school slavery master from the south with abuse and torture,it means a teacher and companion to that sub who trusts you. While you do get sexual pleasure from them as well, you are also setting their life up for their benefit as well as yours. Instead of physically punishing them take away privileges or time away from you. That will punish them more than any physical pain.
Creative PunishmentsSomething more creative than spanking or spending time away from the submissive is to make them do something uncomfortable. Standing against a wall with a coin held between their nose and it grows to be annoying. While it starts out boring, eventually it will become unbearably boring and their legs, back, and neck will ache. For more pain added to their discomfort have them kneel on a bed of rice. Get a cookie sheet for the oven and fill it with plain white rice. If your slave has orgasm without permission or touched themselves while you’re gone, fit the punishment to the crime. Have them repeat the transgression by masturbating over and over again, each time Cumming until it’s painful for them.
Sometimes the crime is far more serious than forgetting to do the laundry or messing with their nether regions while you’re gone. If they’ve stormed off or challenged you often you can go with a more painful punishment (if you don’t have a pain slut). A natural and safe way to dole out the pain is to peel an inch long piece of ginger root and have the sub stick it up their ass. While it doesn’t sound particularly painful (it’s not that big or thick) it hurts more than you’d think. The juice of the ginger is extremely painful when it comes into contact with the anal lining but won’t hurt your sub. Tell them to keep it in them until you command to take it out.
The Hardest Punishment of AllBy far the most excruciating trial for a sub to go through would be to go through their day without their privileges. We’re not talking television or dancing, but more the household chores, bathing their master, and dressing him. Anything that they do to serve their dominant is the pride of their life, and to see him or her doing her own dishes, dressing, and laundry. For a sub they mean nothing if they aren’t absolutely serving their master. At least one day should pass this way, more if you can stand it and it fits the level of the crime.
How to Know If it Fits the CrimeIf you’re not sure the punishment that you’ve planned fits the crime that happened, then check. Head to a fetish dating site and review some of the other dom’s punishments. Consider joining the site and publish your own scenes to get some feedback from veteran dominants. Fetish dating sites often have individual forums for different categories of BDSM so hopefully you’ll find something. In larger cities there are actually groups of Doms and subs that come together and discuss different topics. Talking about your sub’s offense will embarrass them even further. You can also check the top dating sites for comments. Read great fetish dating website reviews and steer clear of scam reviews when you are planning online humiliation for your Sub.
Things to ConsiderWhen you’re planning out punishment scenes for your bottom, keep in mind that you need to do it with a clear head. Never come up with something while you’re upset, just walk away. Not only will your sub be sad and ashamed that they’ve upset you, you’ll get time to calm down. Have them get on all fours and command that they stay that way until you return.
When you’re starting out and are making reprimands for your bottom, you’re bound to make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them as they go. The best way to do this is to keep a dom journal. In this you can write down the penalty and the result of it. How did your bottom react? Was it effective? Did it go too far? Are there any other ideas that come from it? You can also keep a list of all of the rules that you have for the house in there and use it as reference when you need to. Just make sure that every time you update it you let your sub know so that he or she doesn’t break them accidentally.